Thursday, June 26, 2014

Saying Goodbye to a dear friend.

I lost a good friend this last Saturday...and it is something I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around. Her death was unexpected to say the least. She was 57 (?) years old, went out to work in her flower bed, and a medication she was on caused her to collapse. She wasn't found for hours and had to be revived when found...they jump started her heart, only to have her die less than twelve hours later.

Mentally, I am having a hard time with this. She died because of one of her medications. It said to avoid prolonged exposure to direct sunlight...well, when she passed out, she was in direct sunlight for hours...and it killed her.

I had talked to her a few days before her death and the day she died, while she was laying in her flower bed dying, I had tried to call her and left her a voice mail (good one).

A part of me is still waiting for her to call me back...a part of me doesn't accept that she isn't coming to visit me this winter...a huge piece of me doesn't want to believe it.

So, what I learned from my friend.

1. Don't accept being treated like crap by anyone. If people treat you badly it isn't a reflection of you, it is a reflection of them.

2. Life is a gamble. We do not know when we are going to die or how. Take advantage of everyday and make it what you want.

3. It is okay to be funky and eclectic and weird. The people who accept you for what/who you are, are the ones you want in your life.

4. Don't be afraid of big gestures. Sometimes, it is okay to exaggerate. If someone has lost a bunch of weight don't be afraid to beef up their self-esteem by over exaggerating your reaction. If someone gets you a little gift, go ahead and treat it like the greatest treasure you have ever received. Just because we aren't children doesn't mean we don't get the warm fuzzy's inside over the great reactions.

5. Don't stop talking to your friends just because you get a boyfriend. It causes hurt and pain...and if the relationship fails, your friends may not be there to take you back.

6. Have more life insurance then you technically think you need. Have a will...and make sure someone KNOWS WHERE IT IS!!!

7. Write letters to your family and friends and put them somewhere safe. Somewhere they will be found when you die. Add to the letters over the years...they will be cherished after you die.

8. Never take tomorrow for granted. The last time I talked to my friend, she was out and about and we agreed to touch base tomorrow...well, tomorrow never came. 

9. Never leave words unspoken. If I had known it was the last time I was going to talk to her, I would have told her that I loved her, told her that I forgive her for disappearing when she got a boyfriend, I would have said more than just a simple "good-bye".

10. Be spontaneous. Those silly moments in life are what you will be remembered for. 

My friend was a very unique woman...I will be unable to make it to her memorial today...I just moved to Florida and her memorial is in Minnesota. I knew that there just wasn't any way for me to be there, so I thought long and hard about what my friend would have wanted. I narrowed it down to my top two picks and went with them...
I wrote her daughter a long letter and made sure she knew how proud her mom was of her, and I am purchasing a memorial urn necklace for her eldest grandson (they were so close and he is just devastated by her death).

I wish I had just five more minutes to talk to her...But, she is in a better place and feels no more pain now. She had a lot of back problems (more hardware on her spine than you would believe) and was suffering from depression because of the pain (which leads to not being hungry and not being able to sleep). Now she isn't suffering anymore. 

I will miss her. She was probably the only person I have ever met that really got me...and now she is gone. I just pray she is in Heaven and will be there waiting for me when I die.

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