Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Can't wait to go back to Minnesota!!!

I am taking a trip home in June with my two girls. Unfortunately, finances will not allow my husband to take the time off of work this year :(

I am super excited to go back and see my family and friends! But, I am really sad my husband isn't coming with. I am actually afraid that my anxiety is going to cause a lot of issues on this trip...So, I am staying at a familiar hotel, in a familiar area, and hoping that is enough to squash the least to a dull roar.

My girls are doing well...their mommy isn't. I am TRYING. I am giving all I have to my kids...but once again, that isn't saying much. I am pretty lucky that between their friends and their electronics, they really haven't noticed how bad I am doing...

But the bad isn't my mental health right now. I am having gall bladder attacks that just suck! At some point I am going to have to go into a doctor and find out what I can do to make them go away...or get the damn thing out!!! I would never have known it if I hadn't experienced it, but gall bladder attacks are awful! My stomach feels like I am being cut in half! Laying down makes it worse, hunching over makes it worse...the only relief is to get up and walk. As long as I am moving I can tolerate the pain. Sigh...I need to find a doctor that takes my insurance. This doesn't just suck, this could become a medical emergency if I don't take care of it.

Other than the gallbladder attacks, things are going well. My anxiety medication allows me to sit still with out the jitters and my bipolar medication seems to be helping me lift out of the pit of despair I was trapped in for 16 months...I mean I am far from being "okay" but I am better than I was last October.

I guess that is all for now...

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